A Farmer, A Kid, A Swordsman, A Dinosaur, & Chuck
by StarWolf22
Summary: Jack was a simple farmer, until the night that what he thought was a comet smashed into his fields. Now he faces a struggle to destroy an evil empire that has been terrorizing the universe. Harvest Moon, Earthbound, LoZ, and Yoshi Xover, with others. R
1. The Simple Life

Chapter 1

The Simple Life

Note: Paris and Nicole aren't in this story or even this chapter. I just couldn't come up with a different name for the chapter.

The sun rose above the small and quaint town of Maple Village. The morning dew stuck to the early spring grass. The beautiful Moon Mountain in the background of the town. Just near the mountain, about a mile away, was a farm. Various plants such as turnips, potatoes, and cabbage grew in the fields. Cows and sheep lay in part of the field that was covered in grass. Chickens quietly scratched around the entire area of the farm. Near the house where the owner lived was a doghouse. The young dog slept just outside of the doghouse. A rooster fluttered onto the top of the doghouse and let out a loud wake up call. It was for the owner, Jack, to wake up. The dog awoke from its slumber and jumped at the rooster that was perched atop the doghouse. The rooster let out a loud squawk and rushed off, the dog in pursuit. In a few moments afterwards several large crashes came from inside the house. Jack then emerged from the house. He was a young man, about 17. He wore a blue hat with a red bill backwards on his head. He had on dirty blue jeans, that were splattered from mud, from the previous day. His yellow shirt was also splattered with several small patches of mud.

He let out a long yawn, and slowly made his way to the nearby mailbox. He was expecting to get something today. He opened the mailbox to find a brown package. He took it out and looked it over. He ripped the package open to reveal a shiny golden sickle blade. He had finally gotten around to ordering it after his silver one had broken. The garden was starting to get a little weedy, and he hated having to pluck the weeds with his hands. He preferred to just cut them. He walked back to the side of his house where his tools were laying. He looked at the several tools before him: two golden headed hammers, one was at least four times bigger then the other, a silver hoe (The gardening tool, not the women that you have sex with. Perverts.), a green watering can, a golden axe, and finally a stick. Jack sat down on the ground and grabbed the stick and the smaller hammer. He put the bottom of the stick into the hole in the sickle blade. He then began to hammer at the sickle and stick. Several minutes later he picked the sickle back up, stood up, and gave it a few good swings.

"Perfect." Jack said in a slight yawn. He placed the sickle back down next to the other tools and left to start on his other morning chores. Over the period of the day, Jack, fed the animals, milked the cows, harvested several eggs and fresh cabbages, turnips, and potatoes. It was now getting near dusk and Jack still had not gotten around to the cutting of the weeds. He picked his sickle up from the side of his house and walked to the fields. He began to slash away at the weeds. As he hacked at the weeds the sickle head came flying off. It flew off and got stuck on the single tree that was on Jack's property. Jack looked at the sickle head in the tree.

"Son of a bitch!" Jack yelled. He walked to the tree and looked at the blade in the tree once again. He then began smashing the stick against the sickle blade. The blade eventually fell off after Jack's bashing. It was now dark outside. Jack picked up the sickle blade and began his walk back to the house. He tossed the blade and the stick next to the other tools. He then began to open the door to his cozy little house, and then abruptly stopped. He had noticed what appeared to be a comet flying through the sky. But the comet was blue for some reason. He watched as the comet appeared to be getting closer and closer. He then realized that the comet was headed for his field. Jack watched as the comet smashed into the field where Jack had been just hours ago.

Jack quickly picked up his hammer, and made a mad dash to where the comet had hit. Minutes later he was near the spot. He readied his hammer. He didn't quite know what he brought the hammer with him for. It was probably just a meteor that fell down to the earth. He approached the small crater that the comet had made. Smoke was rising up from the crater. Jack peered over the edge of the crater to see something that astonished him.

"Damn." Was the only words that Jack could find to say. The view that he was beholding at that moment was unexplainable. Or to him at least...

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter in my new fanfic:) I know it was a little slow, and some what boring, but it'll get better soon, trust me. Keep reading, and please review.


	2. The Kid

Chapter 2

The Kid

Jack looked at what lied in front of him. It was a young boy. He looked to be near the age of 10 or 11. He like Jack was wearing a hat, the bill was blue and the main part was red though. He had a yellow and purple striped shirt on, and blue jean shorts. He also had a brown backpack next to him. Jack slid down to the bottom of the crater and looked at the backpack. Cautiously he opened the backpack up. Inside was a yo-yo and a baseball bat. The child appeared to be normal. The kid let out a little grunt and Jack turned back to the boy and dropped the backpack. The boy's eyes opened and he blinked several times before sitting up. Jack stared at the boy. The boy then did something miraculous. He hovered a few inches above the ground and landed back on his feet. The boy then patted the dirt off of himself. He then noticed Jack, who's mouth was open in awe.

"Where am I?" The boy asked Jack.

"You're in my field, on my farm." Jack said. He was still wondering how the boy had just floated back to his feet.

"Where is your farm then?" The boy asked.

"Just east of Maple Village." Jack replied.

"Where the hell is Maple Village?" The boy asked.

"Just south of Moon Mountain." Jack responded. "Before you say anything else, how did you just float like that?"

"I don't know. I've always been able to do that. Damn. What planet am I on?" The boy asked now.

"What planet!?!? What's wrong with you kid? This is Earth. Obviously you got hit on the head or something. Maybe I should take you to the doctor."

"Earth? Never heard of it. I didn't get hit on the head. All though I did land that pretty hard."

"Huh? Land that? You mean you were the comet?" Jack asked in astonishment.

"I wasn't a comet. I was inside of a ball of energy." The boy began to laugh. "You thought I was a comet? You Earth people must be pretty dumb."

Jack turned red. "I didn't know what was going on! I've never seen someone fall down to the ground from outer space!"

"Whatever. Real quick, have you ever heard of the Shade Empire?" The boy asked.

"The what?" Jack said. he was starting to get confused by this kid. Something was wrong with him.

"The Shade Empire. They are an evil empire, as the name suggests, that have control of most of the universe. I'm on a mission to destroy it. Oh yeah, I forgot, my name is Ness."

"Okay... My name is Jack." Jack reached his hand out to offer Ness a handshake. Ness stared blankly for a moment and then shook Jack's hand. "Maybe you should come back to my house and you can explain this to me more."

"That sounds good to me." Ness replied. The two set off towards Jack's house.

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Jack and Ness made it back to Jack's home a little while ago. It was now getting close to being midnight. Ness sat at Jack's table, while Jack brewed some coffee up to keep them awake. Ness was looking around the small house, admiring the objects in it. They were all the same as where Ness was from, all though the things that Jack had was more like farming things and equipment, while Ness was more accustom to seeing higher tech things. Jack walked over and sat down opposite of Ness and poured him a cup of coffee. Ness gladly took and and began to drink. He then spat it out and started to rub his tongue to try and get rid of the taste. He didn't like coffee obviously. Jack chuckled as he watched Ness. This kid was pretty weird. Jack closed his eyes and took a long sip of his coffee. When he opened his eyes again, Ness was licking the ground. He seriously hated the taste.

"Tat suff tase lie crawp." Ness said. His tongue was hanging out of his mouth. Jack stared at the younger boy. He was trying to come up with a question to ask Ness. But he had so many that he didn't know where to begin. He took another sip of his coffee and then spoke.

"Okay, so the Shed Empire control the universe. And you are suppose to destroy it?"

"It's the **Shade **Empire, not the Shed Empire. Yes. Well, actually there was a prophecy that five heroes would destroy the empire. I am the first of the five. I am suppose to be finding the last four heroes of the prophecy. My search brought me here. I felt two very strong amounts of energy coming from this planet, and I think that they are coming from two of the heroes. Oddly enough, I can feel a strong amount of power somewhere around here."

"So you are saying that you have to find four other people, and you five are going to take down an entire empire? How will you know when you have find one of them?" Jack had a puzzled look on his face. He didn't have any clue how this kid was suppose to destroy an empire.

"Yes. The prophecy gave a hint for the five heroes. One would have telepathic and psychic powers. Another would be in the form of a lizard. The third would be a legendary swordsman. The fourth would be dirt poor. And finally the fifth would be a named Chuck. I think you may be one of them."

"What!?!?" Jack cried. He looked as though he just learned that he impregnated a young girl, even though he used a condom. "What one am I?"

"Well judging by your house and you being a farmer (No offense to any real farmers.), I think you are the dirt poor one." Ness gave Jack a big smile.

"I'm not dirt poor!" Jack yelled. It was true that he didn't have to much money, but he still wasn't doing bad for himself."

"Well you can't be any of the others. You aren't a lizard, you aren't a swordsman, your name isn't Chuck, and I'm the telepathic and psychic kid. So you are the dirt poor one." Ness smiled again. He looked back at jack, who was now balled up in a corner crying.

Hope you enjoyed the second chapter. :) I know that a lot of the powers that I gave Ness are not his actual powers. Like the energy ball and sensing energy, but I needed a guy that could start this story out and get the real plot going. Please review and read the next chapter.


	3. Search For A Hero

Chapter 3

Search For A Hero

Ness stared at Jack who was still sobbing in the corner after what Ness had said last night. It was morning now. Jack had been up all night crying. Ness had slept in Jack's bed since Jack was not going to. Ness grabbed his baseball bat from his backpack and gently nudged Jack with the end of it.

"What do you want?" Jack sobbed.

"Breakfast." Ness simply replied. Jack's stomach grumbled after Ness mentioned breakfast. He was actually quite hungry. Crying for a whole night makes a man hungry. So Jack stood up and walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out some eggs. He then grabbed a frying pan, cracked the eggs and began to cook.

About an hour later Ness and Jack were sitting at the table again. This time they were full, and Ness didn't lick the floor. hey both simultaneously stood up.

"Well, I guess I should go do my work out on the farm." Jack groaned.

"You can't go work on the farm!" Ness exclaimed. "We have to find that second source of energy and get going. We need to find those other three heroes!"

"But I have a job to do." Jack replied.

"Screw that! Hire someone to take care of it!" Ness screamed.

"I can't hire someone to take care of my farm!" Jack yelled back. "No one is properly experienced in this town to care for my animals and plants. Well, except for those kids..."

"Then go get the frickin' kids!" Ness bellowed. He didn't have time to wait for Jack to get done with his little chores. He needed to find the lizard, the swordsman, and Chuck, so that they could take down the Shade Empire.

"I'll call them real quick then." Jack said. He walked over to his phone and called the kids that he had spoke of earlier. Within minutes a knock came from outside of the house. Jack and Ness walked over to the door. Jack opened it to reveal three children. They were about Ness's age. Two of them were boys, and the other was a girl. The first boy had extremely short brown hair and brown eyes. He was wearing a yellow tank-top and blue shorts. The other boy had black hair that was covering his eyes. He had what looked like a school uniform on. And the girl had black hair in pigtails. She had gleaming black eyes, and was wearing a red dress. Ness ogled at the girl. He thought she was pretty cute looking. "I need a favor from you three." Jack began.

"What type of favor?" Asked the boy in the tank-top.

"I need you to care for my farm, while me and Ness go on a trip."

"Who's Ness?" Asked the other boy.

"The kid next to me." Jack replied.

"Uh, Jack, I think I'll stay here and help the pretty girl and the weird guys care for the farm." Ness said. He was staring at the young girl.

"What! You're the one who wants to go find the third... I mean see our cousin." Jack said.

"Nah, I'll stay." Ness said. The young girl giggled. Ness was starting to piss Jack off right about now.

"No you're coming, and we are going right now!" Jack yelled. He then grabbed Ness and his large golden hammer and drug Ness off out of the farm. Jack dragged Ness at least a mile, until they hit a a cross road. Jack then stopped.

"What the hell was that!" Jack yelled.

"Girl...pretty." Ness stammered.

"God." Jack smacked his face. "Forget the girl!"

"Okay... Sorry." Ness said.

"Can you tell me where that other energy source is?" Jack asked.

"It feels close by again. This time it isn't you. This energy is way stronger. It's coming from down that road I think." Ness pointed down one of the roads. In the distance you could see several bulidings.

"That is in town. How will you be able to find the source in the town? It gets pretty crowded in there." Jack said.

"Yeah right." Ness laughed. He then pointed to a sign. he then started to read it. "Maple Village, 1 mile away. Population 34. That _is _crowded." Ness laughed.

"Who the hell put that sign there? Obviously that was made by a prankster."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it was." Ness then noticed another sign. This one was far more decorative then the last. "Come to the town square to meet the world famous Luck Forest? Who is that?"

"Huh?" Jack said. "Someone must have putt he wrong name on the sign. Lets go check it out. maybe we'll find that other energy source while we are there." Jack and Ness set off again towards the town. Hopefully the third hero would be there to meet Luck Forest. Whoever the hell he is.

Jack and Ness walked through the empty town. Ahead of them they could balloons in the town square, which was looming over the small town. Ness and Jack ran up the stairs leading to the square. They reached the top to here laughter. There was a man surrounded by the town citizens. He had red hair and a beard. He was very muscular. he was apparently the one who had made the people laugh. he was holding a piece of paper reading off of it.

"Here's a good one. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." The man said. Everyone broke into laughter. Jack and Ness looked around the square. They noticed that there was a sign next to the man. It read, 'The World Famous Chuck Norris'.

"I don't see any Luck Forest., all I see is Chuck Norris." Ness said.

"Hmm. Wait! The sign must have meant , 'Come see Chuck Norris', not Luck Forest." Jack concluded. "So do you feel any energy?" Jack asked Ness.

"Uh, yeah. It's coming from near Chuck Norris." Ness said.

"Oh, I like this one." Chuck Norris said. "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door." Everyone began to laugh again.

"That was pretty funny." Ness said.

"Yeah it was." Jack agreed.

That ends the third chapter. That was unexpected. I mean really, Chuck Norris! Could he be the next hero? And how many more of his facts will he read off? Please review and read the next chapter:)


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